How to make a man/woman happy!

Got this in the mail today. So funny yet so true!!!

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2 a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked

It's 2-1 to PR

Once again, the rakyat have rejected the BN govt in the "Bukit-Bukit" by-elections. As usual, the BN leaders are coming out with crap statements like "We respect the decision of the rakyat", "This does not reflect the the confidence the rakyat have in the new leadership", "A post mortem will be done to see why the BN can't win the 2 seats" etc. Respect? Confidence in BN? Post mortem? Haven't we heard all this bullshit before? They had 13 months since 8 Mar 2008 and they still need a post mortem? Wake-up BN!!! It is clear the rakyat is rejecting you. Yes a new PM is at the helm but will it be any different? He is still part and parcel of the old machinery. Will Najib be any different? For the sake of our country, I really hope so altho I am not putting my hopes too high.

As for East Malaysia, donno why the BN is still so strong there. Anyone care to explain why the people of East Malaysia have not been taken in by the Tsunami of 8 Mar?

Jose, we miss you!

Haha! You can always count on Jose Mourinho to give an unforgettable quote whenever he gives an interview. When interviewed recently and asked why the Italian press haven't really taken to him, this was his reply :

"Even Jesus Christ wasn't liked by everyone, so what chance do I have?"

You d special one, Jose!

How can leh?

Once again, Malaysian economics and its leaders never ceases to amaze and baffle me! There were 2 incidents over this past week.

Today's Star newspapers reported that EPF dividends for 2008 stood at 4.5%. I thot this is understandable taking into account of the economic situation in the past year. But wait, that's not the end. This is on the back of EPF's highest ever earning of RM20bil in gross income last year, an increase of 9.36% from 2007! What the hell??? Why did dividends go down? Its chairman said that this is because of a sharp decline in equity markets and a large provision has to be made! I m no economic whiz but can someone tell me what's happening? If the economy picks up in the 2nd half of the year and share markets rise, will this provision be taken out and dividends increased?

The other story is with regard to our sports minister Azalina Othman. She went to see the PM last week accompanied by her father. When asked by the reporters why, this is her answer,

"I am not married. I can't be walking alone right? Being a Muslim woman, the right person to accompany a single woman would be the father."

What??? You mean all single muslim women can't walk alone? I find this comment stupid, moronic, imbecilic, daft and just plain ignorant! And these are words from our ministers!

On another baffling story, how is it that in a span of 5 days, Liverpool can play like they are from another planet and thrash 2 of the biggest teams in the world? I am just as shocked as all Liverpool fans I suppose. Shocked but delighted. I just wish they won't go on and draw with the likes of Stoke, Fulham etc again!

This is a baffling world!

I've conquered Mt Kinabalu!

I made it!!! Reached the top of Mt Kinabalu(Low's Peak to be exact) at 6.05am on 1 Mar 2009 with my wife and two other friends! It was an amazing experience and the view was fantastic! It was exhilarating to be able to set foot on the tallest mountain in southeast asia. The cold aside(2 degreee celsius!), we were high-fiving and slapping each other's backs, including those of the people we don't know!

Before I go any further, I would like to dispel many doubts abt the climb :

a)You don't have to be super-fit or very fit for that matter. The guides told us that normally women find it much easier to climb than the guys. The same happened to us as I was huffing and puffing while my wife was walking up at a canter(And she does not exercise often!). Willpower is just as important!

b)The most important equipments to have are a walking stick(Absolutely necessary), a raincoat, proper walking shoes and proper clothing! I am emphasising all these based on my own experience. All the rest are secondary.

c)Descending is just as challenging as ascending the mountain. This is mainly b'cos fatigue starts to play a role and you have to be extra careful negotiating slippery rocks especially when it is raining.

d)Medication like Diamox(Altitude sickness) and Celebrex(Painkillers) are advised to be taken.

It took us 8 hours to get to the top(5 hours to Laban Rata and 3 hours to the summit). The climb towards the top was quite treacherous near the 5-6km mark. Height of mountain is about 8km. It was drizzling but not heavy enough to stop us from ascending to the top. The rocks were slippery and we had to be very careful. It took another 8 hours to get down. Why the same amt of time as going down shd be much easier rite? When you are going down, your calfs and thighs start to ache and you tend to stop more often to rest. For us the last 2 kilometers was hell! But we made it!!!

The one bad experience from this trip is the aching muscles! It got so bad that we even had trouble getting up from chairs and walking straight! We were walking like crabs! Such a pretty sight!

A sign in Kinabalu Park says :

Take Nothing But Photographs
Leave Nothing But Footprints
Keep Nothing But Memories

Yes, I have a million unforgettable memories now!

It's time!

3 more days and I'll be on my way to climb Mt Kinabalu! Getting excited but am also being hopeful at the same time. Hopeful that the muscles, knees and ankles will hold up for the trip up and down as well. Hoping also that I will not suffer from Altitude sickness which has caused many to turn back. Have done all the preparations I can, which is not much really! Haha! What the heck! I am going for adventure and fun so I really must stop worrying!

Mt Kinabalu, here I come!

What would you do? Any business ideas?

I was asked recently by a very good friend of mine this question, "If I was handed one million ringgit to start a business in the current economic climate, what business would I do?". I laughed and said that no one in their right minds would want to start a business now. To which he retorted that every cloud has a silver lining. For eg rents are cheaper, suppliers are more flexible when negotiating prices and most of all, if you have cash then you are king!

I still looked at him doubtfully, so he threw me this challenge : If I could find a business which he feels will work, he will fund it! I was sceptical of this challenge but he said he was dead serious abt it. So I went home thinking what I could do, you know, just in case he really was serious!!! I thot and thot but I still couldn't come up with an answer. He called me 3 days later to see if I had any ideas and I still hadn't any. He told me to take my time, do some research, talk to friends and get back to him when I have an idea. Anyone out there with ideas???